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'No gifts, please' and money instead of gifts: how to word it

By Vidmantas Markevičius

To say "no gifts" politely, keep it short, warm and clear, for example "Your company is the only gift we need." If you'd prefer one bigger gift, money or a donation instead, give guests one concrete option (a group gift, a fiver party or a charity) rather than just asking for cash. Guests are more comfortable when they know what their contribution is for.

Some people want no gifts at all. Others want something different from a pile of presents. Both are fine. The wording is the hard part.

Option 1: Truly no gifts

Say it clearly once and don't over-explain.

  1. "Your presence is the only present we need. Please, no gifts."
  2. "No gifts, please. Just bring yourselves and your appetite!"
  3. "We're lucky to have everything we need. Your company is the best gift."
  4. "Please don't bring gifts. If you'd like to give something, a card with a memory would mean the world."

Tip: some guests will bring something anyway. Accept it graciously, and don't put "no gifts" in bold capitals.

Option 2: A fiver party (kids' birthdays)

A fiver party means each guest gives €5 (or the local equivalent, often in a card) instead of a present. The child then buys one thing they really want. It's popular in the UK and growing elsewhere, and it cuts down on plastic and duplicate toys.

Fiver party wording:

  1. "Instead of gifts, Leo is saving for a new bike. If you'd like, pop €5 in a card, and he'll choose something special. No pressure at all!"
  2. "We're doing a fiver party: no presents, just €5 towards one big wish. Thank you!"
  3. "To keep things simple, we'd love a fiver in a card instead of a gift. Mia has her eye on a scooter 🛴"

Option 3: One bigger gift instead of many small ones

Instead of collecting cash, set up one group gift: the bike, a camera or a trip. Guests choose how much to contribute, everyone sees what's still open, and you get a real gift instead of an envelope. See how group gifts work.

  1. "Instead of separate presents, we're collecting for one bigger gift. You can chip in any amount here: [link]"
  2. "For her 40th, Anna would love a weekend away more than anything else. If you'd like to contribute, here's the link: [link]"

Option 4: Asking for money instead of gifts

Cash is common for weddings and milestones, but the wording matters. Always tie it to a purpose.

  1. "We've lived together for years and have everything we need. If you'd like to give a gift, a contribution to our honeymoon would make it extra special."
  2. "For our new home, we're saving for a few bigger things. If you'd like to contribute, we'd be very grateful."
  3. "Your presence is our gift. For those who've asked, we'd appreciate a contribution towards our first trip as a married couple."

Avoid: "Cash only", amounts ("minimum €50") or bank details in the invitation itself.

Option 5: A donation instead of gifts

  1. "Instead of gifts, please consider a donation to [charity]. It means a lot to us."
  2. "No presents, please. If you'd like to mark the occasion, our local animal shelter would love your support: [link]"
  3. "Tom has decided to share his birthday: instead of gifts, he's collecting for [cause]."

No-gifts birthday party for kids: a few practical tips

  • Tell parents early, in the invitation, so nobody shops in advance.
  • Explain the why briefly: less clutter, a big wish or a cause.
  • Plan an alternative moment: cards, a group photo or a small craft together.
  • Thank every guest, even if they bring something anyway.

More wording

  1. "Gifts are not expected. Your company is what matters."
  2. "We kindly ask for no gifts, just good memories."
  3. "Please, no gifts. But we'd love a favourite recipe for our recipe book!"
  4. "Skip the present and bring your best story about the birthday girl instead."
  5. "If you'd like to bring something, a book with a note inside would be perfect."

For wording when you do share a wish list, see how to word a gift list on an invitation.

FAQ

How do you politely say no gifts on an invitation?

Keep it short and warm: "Your presence is the only present we need. Please, no gifts." Say it once, without long explanations.

What is a fiver party?

A kids' party where each guest gives €5 instead of a present, so the child can buy one bigger thing they really want.

How do I ask for money instead of gifts?

Tie it to a purpose (a honeymoon, a home project, one big wish) and keep it optional. Avoid amounts or "cash only".

Is it rude to ask for donations instead of gifts?

No. Many guests appreciate it. Name one specific cause and keep the wording light.

Set up one group gift instead of many small ones — free, no sign-up.

By Vidmantas Markevičius, founder of Claim A Gift. Updated November 2026.